That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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