Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
