I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize