My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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