she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
