boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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