Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
