what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize