..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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