She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
