I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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