We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Its about making memories worth repressing
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
