Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
