you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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