she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
