you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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