so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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