just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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