I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
