now i know why i became what i already was.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
