just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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