Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
