try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
