How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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