I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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