I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just had sex on a roof
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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