More tranny stories later!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they're like a gay fantastic four
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize
