This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
