okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
