i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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