I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
