He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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