It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
