i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
