I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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