Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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