he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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