Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
