I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
