Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
