I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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