turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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