How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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