our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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