I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize