She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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