im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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