hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
