morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
