I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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