There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
