Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
