the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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