so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
