dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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