first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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