Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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