Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
