oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
