Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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