We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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