There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
