i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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