I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
